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Barack-Seat DriversBarack Obama does not need your two cents.

Obama. Click image to expand.If there's one piece of advice Barack Obama should heed, it's this: Don't listen to advice. As John McCain overtakes Obama in the polls, pundits and bloggers have turned into political versions of "Dear Abby." They advise him about his message (Mark Halperin says: Talk about the economy!), his style (Arianna Huffington wants to see more MLK references), and his themes (Ellen Malcolm of Emily's List says, "Talk about who really is able to change the direction of this country"). So many people have added their two cents, no wonder Obama's breaking fundraising records.

It would be logically impossible for Obama to follow all this advice. It would also be unwise. To understand the first point, let's review some of the advice he's received in the last few weeks:

Link McCain to Bush!
Everyone says this, as if Obama doesn't do it every day. It's the Democrats' grand strategy. Unclear if it's working.

Don't Just Link McCain to Bush!
"The problem is not that Obama hasn't hit McCain hard enough or linked him to Bush often enough," offers columnist Michael Goodwin. "The problem is that he hasn't done anything else." The problem with this advice, unfortunately, is that McCain is Obama's opponent.

Get Mad!
The consensus on the left is that Obama is a wimp. People want passion. And that doesn't just mean saying you're "mad" and that wage disparity makes your "blood boil." It's like they say in film class: Show, don't tell. It's time to get furious—maybe even nasty— about McCain's lies and distortions and carbon sequestration agenda. "They know that's how the game is played," said one miffed Democratic strategist.

Don't Get Mad!
Stop whining about McCain's "lies," advises Slate's own Mickey Kaus. It makes Dems look weak; it's impossible to prove 100 percent that something is a "lie"; and it reinforces stereotypes of preachy, self-satisfied liberals. The only person you're swaying is yourself. Michelle Cottle suggests "urgency" rather than anger: "[U]nrelenting cool may not be what voters are longing for this election."

Take the High Road
Judge not the message by its messenger—in this case, Karl Rove. "Stop the attacks," Rove advised. "They undermine your claim to a post-partisan new politics. You soared when you seemed above politics, lost altitude when you did what you criticize. Attacks are momentarily satisfying but ultimately corrode your appeal."

Lie Like McCain
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Truth-telling and "fact-checking" are a joke. As it turns out, Democratic voters don't punish their candidates for lying as much as Obama might think. And every once in a while, they do like winning.

Go After Palin!
She took earmarks! She banned books! She supported the Bridge to Nowhere! She never went to Iraq! She doesn't even know what the Bush Doctrine is! (Gasp for air.) Some armchair advisers view Palin as the ever-yielding river of oppo gold rather than a Teflon mom. Dems complain of a "perceived lack of aggressiveness" on Obama's part. Fire away! they say. Particularly on abortion. A combative Bernard-Henri Lévy would have Obama "speak directly, solemnly, to the women of this country, asking them if they are prepared to see themselves in this caricature of a free woman who plans to deny her peers one of their most cherished and hard-won rights, the right to an abortion. … I would advise him to assign this task to Hillary." Although perhaps "assigning" her a "task" isn't the best way of framing it.

Ignore Palin
This is one area in which Joe Trippi and Karl Rove agree. "Don't react," says Trippi. "Not directly. Let somebody else do that." Obama "won't come off well" if he keeps comparing himself to Palin, writes Rove. Others argue that she's impossible to defeat because she's smart, attractive, fresh, and a celebrity—just like Obama. "She's sort of bullet-proof," says former Clinton press secretary Dee Dee Myers.

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Use the Clintons!
Hillary is stumping for Obama. Bill says he'll do "whatever I'm asked." Not enough, say adviserati. Repeat after me, Hillary, says Joan Vennochi of the Boston Globe, "I want you to ask yourselves: Were you in this campaign just for me?" Others think Hillary is the only one who can help Obama defeat Palin, but Clinton has been reluctant to engage. Howard Wolfson warns us not to expect a "catfight."

Ignore the Clintons
Bill and Hillary "do not wish Barack Obama well," argues blogger Bill Harrison. Don't invite them on the trail because "some way the two will find a way to make those appearances primarily about themselves."

Go Back in Time and Pick Hillary Clinton
After Palin's speech, one columnist called Obama's veep pick a "huge mistake." Rudy Giuliani—suddenly Hillary's biggest defender—agreed. Even Joe Biden admits as much. Is there a control-Z for campaign decisions?

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Christopher Beam is a Slate political reporter.
Photograph of Barack Obama by John Moore/Getty Images.
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